Things I Don’t Understand
I do not regularly visit what one young girl called “The Mall of The Merica.” Last week, I had a couple of hours to spend before picking my wife up at the airport, and decided that this fabled mall might be worth another visit. The place is only about ten miles from our door, but despite that, it has been at least two years since I actually shopped there. And now, you are about to find out why.
One of my favorite places to visit is the pen store. It has taken on several names over the years, but the idea is still the same: Geek Heaven. I love fountain pens–real pens writing on real paper with real ink. It’s a wonderful feeling. This is the one store I go to on every visit to the mall.
On this particular visit, I saw a display case with a new product from a well known pen company. They now offer a product they call the “Perfect Pencil.” It consists of a sterling silver cap with a built-in pencil-sharpener, and five, yes, five wooden pencils. Now how much would you pay? The price: $485.00. If you doubt me, visit the site link above, and on the dropdown that says “The Collection,” select “The Perfect Pencil.”
Okay, on the off chance that there are any wealthy people reading this, if you have an extra $485 that you don’t know what to do with, please donate it here. I’ll give you five pencils, and good ones, at that. No offense intended, but it takes a special kind of dumb to think that $500 pencils are a good idea. Actually, on second thought, offense intended. Behold, consumerism at its most mindless.
As my dear wife pointed out, if the point is writing, you can buy a computer and a printer for that same $485. I assured her that writing was most certainly not the point.
In an effort to get in on the action, however, I’m offering the following deal:
- A metal pencil sharpener suitable for high-end European pencils
- Six, yes, six Derwent 6B (very soft) Graphic Pencils
- A suitable pencil case
I’m selling all of this (a $520 value) for only $51.89, plus $6 postage and handling. If you like a harder pencil, you can select another hardness rating for only $3.00 more per unit. In addition, I’m offering a 5% discount on orders of more than 10 sets. This is a way better use of your money.
Just remember: I’m here for you.