GreatRidge Station

On a recent, rare visit to that famous, arched, Irish restaurant, my fabulous wife and I wanted a “McFlurry.” This is a relatively harmless blended ice-milk treat. Now, everyone knows that the speakers at drive-throughs press the limits of verbal communication. The speaker dutifully informed us of the McFlurries available: “M&M, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup, Take Five and Swamp Gzzshczzjh.”

“What was that last one?” my wife inquired.

The speaker responded, “oh, Swamp Sludge,” as though that was sufficient explanation. Now if they had said McSwamp McSludge, that would have been a sufficient explanation. After a pause just long enough to a) communicate that we were total morons for having to ask, and b) assume that we would soon ask the follow up question, the speaker helpfully squalked: “It’s brownie bits and green M&Ms–you know, Swamp Sludge.”

It wasn’t real swamp sludge, after all. We settled for Reece’s PBCs and M&Ms.

Quick leadership lesson: Don’t assume that your customers and stakeholders know your internal jargon. It is perfectly acceptable to drop Market-eese and speak English.

This past Sunday, my favorite Charlie Brown cartoon of all time ran again. You’ll find it here. I’m not sure where I saw it–I’m too young to remember its original run in August of 1960–but this came across my path somewhere in my youth.

You may wonder how I am going to pull a leadership application out of this post: I’m not. Have a great day.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had several people talk to me about the “intimidators” in their leadership lives. These intimidators are people who, through longevity or brashness, act as though they run the show. It has been fascinating to see so many confident, competent leaders lose their nerve and wind up thoroughly cowed by them.

My best advice has always been “be fierce and stand your ground,” but I always have to stress that fierceness must be a force for good, and not an excuse for stooping to the level of the intimidator. Work positively toward that which must be done, and, as my dad used to say, “take no guff.”

Often, intimidators simply want to make life miserable for the leader. They do not necessarily want authority, they simply do not want anyone to have authority. They disagree with you in public, misrepresent you, and generally try to look better, smarter, or more credible than the actual leaders. The problem is, they do not lead. They are, in fact, anti-leaders who create discontentment and bad feeling, without actually accomplishing anything beneficial.
Dealing with these intimidators is never easy, but it must be done. I have a few strategies that seem to work quite well, though I admit that this is not an exhaustive list:

• Including asking the questions that the intimidators do not want to hear or address, and then hold them to their answers (conciliation often comes from a trap of their own making).
• Confirm everything they say by rephrasing and summarizing, and then asking if that is what they meant. I’ve found that intimidators rarely mean what they say–they are better actors than they are people. This strategy does not work on stupid intimidators–this assumes a level of intellect sufficient to allow this kind of engagement.
• Metaphorically speaking, give them both paint and a brush and allow them to paint themselves into a corner. This is rarely pretty, but it is amusing.

I’m soliciting your ideas and examples of how you have defused one of these intimidators who challenged your effectiveness and confidence as a leader. What did you do? What would you do differently?

I’ll be gathering your comments (dispatcher[at]greatridge[dot]com) through the end of August, 2007. Thanks.