GreatRidge Station

Motivation is never easy for leaders to do. Praising someone for a job well done may seem like a good idea, and in principle, it is. The problem is that motivation and praise are always very personal. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but infortunately, most leaders seem to think there is.

A few years back, I worked with a fellow named Dave, who was an graphic designer and a delightful curmudgeon. Dave won a national award for his work (a big deal by any standards). Those of us who worked with him gave him congratulatory cards, and he displayed these above his computer monitors. The company, however, took a different approach: They threw a party and gave everyone an afternoon off for an open house in Dave’s honor. He hated it.

We knew what upper management did not know: Dave was an introvert, and because of that, no public event would ever feel as good to him as a hand-written card. Oh, and maybe a bonus check (it was no cheap thing to have this event catered, and the wages alone for those who attended would have amounted to thousands of dollars).

That’s rule #1: Know people well enough to honor/motivate/praise them in the way that matters to each individual. This is hard work, and it means that leaders have to know the people they serve.

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Workplace satisfaction surveys, such as the ones from the Gallup Organization, include a question like “Do you have a best friend at work.” This question always prompts some discussion and speculation, mostly in the midwest. Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa are the exception to the rule on this–in most other places, work relationships are the primary relationships in people’s lives. Other parts of the country simply answer the question, but we analyze it: “I like the people I work with, but they are not by best friends,” “Do they want to know if my best friend works with me, or if I have one person I work with that I like more than all the others,” or “This is a stupid question.”

Workplace relationships are tricky. There are circumstances where the work groups are effective and really enjoy each other (I’ve had the pleasure of working in a couple of these), there are other situations when everyone just does their job well, people can count on each other, but no one is particularly cordial (I’ve also had the pleasure of working in this kind of setting). and there are groups that just tolerate each other. The problem for leaders is that unless you are on the inside, you will probably not be able to tell which kind of group you are dealing with. That’s actually the point of that “Best Friend at Work” question.

That’s rule #2: Don’t apply group honor/motivation/and praise strategies when people think of themselves as individuals, and don’t honor/motivate/praise the individual when they consider themselves as part of a group.

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I worked in one company where we had an annual awards banquet, and each department had its own “Employee of the Year.” This meant that every year, five people got this honor. Over the course of five years, I saw the executive leadership give that honor to only seven different people. That means that most of the honorees just kept getting the award year after year. Look, if I noticed that, I can assure you that other people noticed it as well. The honors ceremony eventually fell apart because the only people who wanted to attend were the seven people who generally won.

This is rule #3: Think about the message that your honors/motivation/praise sends. Pay attention to who gets the accolades, and be sure that your efforts send the right message. If you don’t, those who are not recognized will quickly realize that they have no chance, and they will be de-motivated.

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Here it is: The big one.. This is absolutely critical, but few people understand this point. Praise must be specific. Our parents taught us “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” but I want to amend that to “If you can’t think of something specific that is worthy of praise, shut up.”

This is rule #4: Never, Never, Never say “Thank you for all you do.” The underlying message is “I have no idea what you do, and I don’t care enough to find out.” People have a built-in BS detector, and they use it. This kind of non-praise looks like motivation to the one who offers it, the recipient generally sees it as a deadly combination of apathy and arrogance.

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People respond to praise only when it is backed up by a solid working relationship and mutual respect. Unless you can offer that, you may be managing, but you are not leading.

In my office, I have a framed print of one of my favorite paintings, Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks. When we went to have it framed, the woman at the frame shop said “tell me about the room.” My wife responded “I think you should always frame the picture, not the room.” We did. It is in a dark frame with a pale green matte–a green about the shade of the pavement in the painting. When we got it back, that same woman at the frame shop said she had never seen that print come to life like that before.

Another point to my Proverbs 31 wife.

There is a leadership lesson here. When we frame an issue, we often try so hard to frame our message to appeal to the surrounding culture that it blends in instead of stands out. Many churches have faced this problem when they tried to be “seeker-friendly,” but this is not solely a church/ministry problem. Here’s the thing–if you frame a change initiative to appeal to the existing culture, it becomes no change at all. It simply gets absorbed as part of the status quo.

Effective framing is about presenting your message in a way that communicates something new to a culture, by highlighting its appealing characteristics, challenging false assumptions, and delighting people with a vision of the future that they would otherwise never have known.

This is hard work. It means you must know your message–know what you are trying to accomplish. But it also means you must know the culture so well that your message stands out, rather than simply blending in. Most leaders are comfortable, and even excellent, at blending in. It is a rare leader indeed who can present a message so it is appealing, engaging, and transformational.

Got a message that you need to make clear? Get busy framing it. Help people catch the vision and respond to your message.

Regarding linking thought with action, a wonderful piece from Mike Metzger. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.